How to Make Time for Self Care, Even When Your Pregnant, Working and Running after Toddlers
You love your family, more than anything. You know showing up for them with presence and connection is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your little ones and to the world. Yet, parenting is relentless. When you work in an office, you leave, you clock out. There will be more work tomorrow, but its understood that you will leave and attend to your home life. But at home, there is no clocking out. There is always someone who needs something and something in your face that needs to be done. Home life keeps you busier than ever. Did you see that a stay at home mom would make over 6 figures a year if she was paid for all the work she does? No wonder we’re all exhausted.
So how do you make time for yourself and say yes to your own needs?
This 3 step formula should help. Y – find the yum factor E – evaluate and excuse S – schedule it.
Y – find the yum factor
Self care isn’t always about massages and pedicures. While those are nice too, sometimes self care is actually eating lunch, cooking a nourishing dinner or going for a 5 minute walk when you know you won’t get an hour to yourself. Not going to lie, sometimes self care is spending that hour of time to your self netflixing. The thing that sets self care apart from work is that it feels so good. It makes you feel loved, valued, appreciated, worth it, held in love. I do yoga almost everyday. Sometimes it feels like a chore, sometimes it feels so refreshing, I don’t know how I would survive without it. It can be either one more momentous thing hanging over my head on my to do list, or the one thing that is saving me from going crazy. The best self care is when you can flip your attitude and let the things in your schedule bring you joy.
This takes attention and intention.
This takes filling your schedule with things you love, and loving the things in your schedule.
This takes accepting love and cultivating love. One of my favorite self care rituals actually sound a lot like work. I clean the kitchen, set overnight oats in the crock pot and set out bowls and love notes for each member of my family. I’ve never been a morning person and since I’m up with my kids when they wake up at night, I’m often the last one up on my house. I love this routine because I know that everyone is held in the steadiness of love right when they wake up. I can have a little time to myself and there is no mess or argument about food because this is just how it is in our family.
When I get around to eating, there is warm, nourishing and healthy food ready and waiting for me and cleanup is a breeze. What makes this work of preparing for the following day self care instead of a chore is the intention, love and fact that this simple act nourishes my soul and body. It has the yum factor. Is there a way that appreciation and an infusion of love could turn some of your normal to dos into delicious self care?
Is there a way to replace one thing that you don’t like with something that feels so good to you.
That is the essence of self care. Filling your life with things that give you that spark of joy, that have the YUM factor.
I don’t know about you but some times it feels like people think moms have tons of free time on their hands and continually ask you to do everything. Do you knows any moms that have extra time just waiting for something interesting to fill it up? No? Me either. So when you cannot schedule that basic self care time, evaluate your commitments and kindly excuse yourself from anything that is non essential and isn’t in line with your highest priorities. Learning how to say no kindly protects your most valuable priorities. “That sounds wonderful but I’ll have to pass this time. “ “Thank you for thinking of me, i can’t this time, maybe next time?’ (Only if you really want to be there next time.) “I’m sorry, I’m not your person for that. I can see its an important job. Tell me more about what you are looking for and if I think of anyone that would be a great fit I’ll connect you.” All these get you out of your commitment without harming a friendship.
S schedule it.
If you hope you have time for something, it likely won’t happen. Put your self care time on your schedule and don’t let anything interfere.
1. Pedicure 2. Take a nap 3. Massage 4. Yoga class 5. Free wrote journaling for 3 to 5 pages 6. Meditation 7. Mayan massage 8. Meal prep 9. Intentionally prepare a nourishing meal 10. Go for a walk 11. Add a beautiful decoration or flowers to your space 12. Chiropractic adjustment 13. Epsom salt bath 14. Set up a nursing best for after baby arrives 15. Spend time daydreaming 16. Spend time remembering 17. Feel the sunshine on your face 18. Get together with a good friend 19. Binge on some good birth stories while eating some heavenly rich dark chocolate 20. Orgasm
Why is self care important?
I moved across the country when my first child was 8 weeks old. Not even far enough past a c-section to be cleared for all activity, I was packing my house, saying goodbye to my friends and family and moving across the county to an apartment I had never seen before in a place I had never even been. It was scary. My baby was colicky. Truthfully I didn’t know much about being mom and felt overwhelmed, lonely, afraid. I felt a lot of hard things. Eventually, I felt as if my emotions had completely turned off, as if I couldn’t feel anything at all. I couldn’t remember what made me me. I didn’t feel joy. I didn’t like being home. I wanted to escape my life. It was when I was here in this lost place, slowly disappearing day by day, that I realized that self care isn’t about just taking a selfie or surface level ‘things’ that you do for an Instagram post. Self care is the way that you grow roots. And you need roots because as a mother you need to bring in love, you need the feeling of being deeply nurtured physically and emotionally, you need to have an abundance of life sustaining support coming into you so that goodness, joy, happiness, wonder can all overflow from you into your child. Without deep roots, you will not be able to provide the way you want to. So if you are not as present as you want to be, if you are yelling more than you want, if you are self medicating with sugar, tv, work, alcohol, don’t wait another day. Start taking care of yourself now. It is not selfish. It is not too expensive. It is not a ridiculous way to spend time. It is THE way you connect yourself to spirit. It is THE way you get into the flow. It is THE way to parent and live from love. You may be wondering what happened to me after figuring out this self care thing? I am happier than ever. I enjoy my days. I enjoy my evenings. My house is cleaner (though it seems I spend less tine cleaning.) My relationship is stronger. You cannot force those around you to heal. But once you start healing yourself, you will be amazed at what that triggers in others.
Try a free week of Prenatal Meditation and Yoga on me
Did you know I teach a weekly prenatal mediation class? In these classes, we practice delving into our emotions, accepting what is and inviting love, joy, peace and forgiveness. Mothers have told me they have fallen back in love with their husbands after the work we have done together. Mothers have told me they cried as they released burdens they had been carrying around for far too long. Mothers have told me they remembered what it felt like to feel joy again after meditating and are more able to invite that feeling into their life.
If you would like to join me for a free class and delve into a delicious week of prenatal meditation and yoga, I would LOVE to have you in a class. You can click here to try a free week today. Make sure to drop me a note and say hi! I am passionate about making sure my students have incredible pregnancy experiences and I cannot wait to work together.