Making Mom Friends is Hard: Here’s How To Find True Friends You Can Count On
7 minute read
Finding friends as a new mom can be hard… Even if you’ve had a pretty easy time making friends throughout your adult life, having a baby can throw off your groove.
You can quickly start to feel isolated especially if you live away from family, have mostly single girlfriends, or are the first one of your friends to have kids.
But having a group of mom friends in those first few months and years of early parenting can boost your physical and mental health. Plus the companionship can make the adjustment to motherhood so much smoother.
Here are my top tips for finding and building the perfect tribe of mom friends in your area that you can really count on.
How To Find Mom Friends In Your Area
Meeting mom friends can feel like a daunting task… You might get flashbacks to feeling like the kid on the playground that no one wants to play with. But before getting discouraged, remember this truth: most new moms are probably looking for other mom friends too.
Here are my 3 favorite ways to connect with other moms in your local area:
1. Attend A Mommy & Me Class:
Going to a class with your little one is a great way to get out of the house and have something on the calendar that you look forward to each week. Classes provide a great opportunity to bond with your baby…and bond with other parents!
It may take a little effort to put yourself out there, but classes are a great way to meet new people and start up a casual conversation that can lead to other activities outside of the class.
Many classes are free and there are bound to be tons of options in your area. Some favorites for new parents are:
Mom + baby yoga
Story time at your local library or favorite bookstore
Swimming at your local pool or community center
Arts and crafts
Think about what activities bring you joy and look to see if there are any classes available in your area!
2. Join A Moms Group:
Just because you had a baby doesn’t mean you have to stop doing activities that YOU enjoy. Joining a moms group or PEPS group may be the perfect way for you to take some time for yourself while also making new friendships.
A moms group will give you the opportunity to find moms with your interests. You may want some friends that you can go hiking with… look to see if there is a Hike It Baby group near you… or simply hang at your neighborhood park to talk about home remedies for diaper rash or the latest episode of This Is Us.
The good news is that there are so many amazing mom groups out there! Stroller exercise groups, playgroups by age…. Just by doing a quick Google search you’ll be able to find lots of mom groups in your city and local community.
And the great thing is you can find groups that fit your needs and schedule. If you work a 9-5 schedule, you can look for groups that meet on the weekends. Or maybe the idea of a Wednesday morning meet up sounds like the perfect way to get over the “hump” of the week. There are tons of in-person gatherings out there.
And if you’re looking at something online — you can find a group that meets through virtual hangouts or that uses an online platform.
3. Join A Facebook Group:
If you’re the first of your friends to get pregnant or just haven’t had luck making friends in mommy-and-me classes, you may enjoy connecting with other moms through a Facebook group.
A Facebook group is a great way to start conversations with other moms — even if you only have 5 minutes in between feeding your little one and putting them down for a nap. Many groups are free and will give you the opportunity to connect with tens or hundreds of other moms.
I love Facebook groups because you can ask questions, gain encouragement from other people’s experiences, and share the highs and lows of what you’re going through.
And the best part is you can access your community 24/7! This is the perfect way to feel connected even when you’re up alone at night at 2 a.m. feeding your baby.
My favorite thing when I was pregnant was to join a facebook group with other moms who had the same due date month as I did. My youngest is now four and we still cheer each other on and support each other through the more dramatic moments of parenthood.
How To Find Mom Friends Near Me
Sometimes it can be a struggle to shower every day, let alone get out the door for a scheduled event. You may not want the formality of a class or the pressure of having to be somewhere at a certain time.
You still want to find some mom friends in person but want the flexibility of connecting with people as you have the time and energy.
If this sounds like you, you may like the idea of meeting people as you go about your daily life. A great way to do this is to connect with other parents while you’re out and about.
Maybe instead of sitting by yourself at the park, you strike up a conversation with a friendly mom at the picnic table. Or you casually say “hello” to the couple standing in front of you in line at your favorite coffee shop.
I’ve loved getting to know other parents while walking around my neighborhood or browsing my favorite local children’s store.
This may be a little harder if you’re introverted…but the key is to put yourself out there! The people you come into contact with may be craving social interaction and connection just as much as you. You’ll never know unless you reach out… and you never know where or when you could meet your future best friend.
How To Find Your True Mom Friends
Ok, so you’ve done the hard part of walking up to someone and starting a conversation… Now what?
How do you get past the small talk to find out if you two “click” and have the potential for a deep, lasting friendship?
I want to share a few tips to help you find your true mom friends and foster deep friendships FAST.
Invest in the relationship early on.
As soon as you meet someone, get their contact info! It may feel strange asking for someone’s phone number or email the first time that you meet them, but if you wait “until next time” you may miss your opportunity. Don’t let a potential friendship slip through your fingers just because you didn’t exchange contact information early on.
Follow up with them SOON after meeting them.
Keep the conversation alive by touching base shortly after meeting the other person. This will ensure that you stay on their radar and they don’t forget who you are! A simple text the next day to ask about their day can keep the conversation going.
You probably don’t have a ton of free time and have a pretty busy schedule taking care of your little one, working, and/or keeping up your household. But even when life gets crazy, it’s important to make an effort to foster new friendships.
Most likely your new mom friends will be busy too and understand how difficult it can be to hang out sometimes. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you need to cancel a hangout, but try not to make it a habit!
And if you’re having a hard time committing to 1:1 time, try for just an hour at a place that’s convenient for you to get to — whether that’s a park within walking distance or a coffee shop in your neighborhood.
Get past small talk and open up.
Small talk will only foster surface-level friendships that can quickly fizzle out. To develop deeper friendships, open up and be yourself! Talk to your new friend like they’re someone you’ve known for a long time. This is a great way to see how they respond and get a sense if the two of you “click.”
You want to find friends that will listen to you without judgement and be supportive. And you can be the same for your friend! Ask questions to show your interest in the other person and listen when they start to share more about themselves! Sometimes being a supportive ear for another mom is the best way to foster close bonds quickly.
Invest in people with similar interests/parenting styles.
Most moms that also have a new baby will be able to relate to the basics like missing sleep and trying to find the best tricks to calm a fussy baby. But it’s important to find moms that you can connect with on a deeper level — that have interests in common with you or similar parenting styles.
Try to look for moms that have similar values, approaches to parenting, or like doing the same things as you. This will make it easier to have deeper conversations and do activities that you both enjoy.
My Favorite App To Help You Find Mom Friends
If you love the idea of using an app to connect with new friends that you can meet in person…Definitely check out the Peanut app. This app is perfect if you’re looking for a super easy way to find other parent friends in your local area.
Peanut works like your typical dating app. Yep, you swipe through a selection of profiles of other local moms, and if you match, you can start a texting conversation.
You can also use it just like you would Facebook, connecting with moms, joining groups, asking questions or adding in your two cents to discussions about parenthood.
I love that the Peanut app:
Makes it easy to locate moms in your area that have similar interests and are at the same point of motherhood as you.
Has tons of groups that help bring moms together.
Is super easy to use — even if you’re not all that tech savvy.
Has an incognito mode for privacy.
The Peanut app may be the perfect fit for you if you’re wanting a break from other social media platforms so that you can connect with other moms that are in the same boat. The Peanut community is growing quickly — so give it a try!
Why It’s Difficult To Make Mom Friends
It can be difficult to make new friends as an adult. Throw a baby into the mix and putting yourself out there can feel even more challenging. It’s normal to feel a little isolated as you adjust to life as a new parent…but know that you’re not alone.
Friendships are so important for your physical and mental health. Forming your “mom tribe” that you can vent to, get advice from, and just hang out with may be just what you need to survive this early motherhood journey.
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""I confided in Suzzie that I struggle with anxiety and a lot of self doubt. To be honest, I just wasn't sure I was cut out to do birth. After a conversation with her, I realized that the process of overcoming these doubts and fears was going to be an amazing gift. She gave me confidence to start working towards the birth I wanted. I went into birth feeling safe and ready. And I had a great experience. I'm glad I had the courage to start. That was the hardest part." - Olivia-Grace , a mom who took the first step and kept on going