Liz Murray was no average Harvard student. Homeless and parentless at the age of 15, she transformed her life of heartache into an inspiring journey of determination, hope and hard-won success.
When asked about how she went from homeless to Harvard student she said “I’ve learned in my life that you really don’t know what’s possible until you’re already doing it.” ~ Liz Murray
Liz took a leap of faith, took a million small actions and transformed her life.
Yet, she is inspiring precisely because not many of us can make transformations like that.
When it comes to birth, there are reasons moms are stuck in unnecessary cycles of pain and fear. And there are reasons we stay there, even when we don’t have to.
These are the 5 reasons you will settle for a birth that’s not the one you want.
1. You believe what your inner critic tells you because you have no training in how to deal with the inner critic.
It’s so easy to think things like ‘I couldn’t do that’ ‘she must have a high pain tolerance’ ‘it worked for her but not for me’. Often, these are thoughts that were planted in your mind long before you became pregnant. The truth is, you have unlimited capabilities to give birth joyfully. Everything in your biology supports a safe and joyful birth. Contending and challenging the inner voice to see if it’s keeping you small should be a priority in pregnancy.
2. You rely too much on experts and not enough on yourself.
It’s important for every mom to have a trusted doctor or midwife to watch over them through birth. However, sometimes it’s easy to rely so much on them, that you displace the things that are in your own sphere of influence. You may not even take the time to find the right expert for you. Trust your intuition and find support people who trust you as well.
3. Either or thinking… a safe birth or a positive experience.
Many women are told that if they make decisions about birth that feel right to them they are being selfish. Natural choices such as waterbirth are often criticized by people who don’t understand them. Similarly, medical choices such as choosing an epidural can be criticized by the more natural community. Any of these decisions can be the right one, depending on what a specific mom wants for her birth. This either or belief between safe and positive is a false choice. This is your birth, and YOU get to choose what it looks like. There are many ways to create a SAFE birth.
4. You are addicted to being liked.
When everyone around you has difficult or traumatic birth stories, it can feel threatening to have a different story. It might set you apart, you might trigger someone else’s pain, you may feel that you have to fit in by talking about the negative as well. Learning to hold space for others while holding the possibility of a different future for yourself is a skill to develop.
5. We don’t know how to handle the fears and feelings of vulnerability that come up when we play big and go for our dream birth
Reaching for a big goal should feel good. But it doesn’t always. The truth is, when we are trying to create experiences that are important to us, we have to face the feelings of disappointment, fear and vulnerability that come with that reach. Birth often calls women into transformative experiences. Sometimes, we reach deep and we find new places of confidence and belief in ourselves. Other times, we willingly give up our power because it is less scary. Do you trust your self beyond the edge of your comfort zone? What will your find there?
When You Choose Not To Settle
It’s true birth is an important and sometimes complex event. It certainly requires a mom’s attention and intention.
I believe that every mom has the same power as Liz Murray to transform her situation. You can create an experience you will cherish forever.
If you’re ready to break the mold and create a positive birth, you are going to love my comphrensive birth course Birth Undone.
Birth is physiologically sound. You are designed for it by nature.
If you want to undo your anxiety and fear so you can approach birth feeling calm and centered, you will find exactly what you need in this course.
If you want to undo the worry and stressed caused by thoughts of what happens if something goes wrong, you will love practicing the exercises and nutrition that makes your birth more safe for you AND baby.
If you want to undo the confusion of what happens when, you will love the feeling of clarity and confidence that you and your partner will gain as you go through this course and learn exactly what to expect and how to move together through your birth experience.
This revolutionary, transformative class is exactly how I help moms choose to never settle when it comes to their birth.
I would love to see you inside.
Either way, have an incredible birth.
Here’s to having dreams and making them happen.
Until next time,
Suzzie Vehrs
